superheros

i got the kids some superhero dress up costumes today. they rode their bikes around the cul-de-sac, capes flying behind them:

new kid photos...

...taken today, over on my photography blog.

thursday thirteen

Thirteen Things on My Grocery List 1. cheddar bunnies 2. van's waffles 3. milk boxes for the kid's school lunches 4. gallon of milk 5. clifford crunch cereal 6. strawberry sorbet 7. apples 8. turkey bologna 9. bananas 10. bagels 11. eggs 12. blueberries 13. salad bag

long night

jack has been sick all week. it started saturday night when he threw up every hour on the hour and then a few days ago he caught a cold and has been hacking and coughing like a 3-pack-a-day smoker for the past few nights.

last night was the worst and, of course, jeff was out of town. he had a meeting in nyc and i encouraged him to stay overnight to meet up with some of his friends from college who live there. what was i thinking? oh sure, be the cool wife who encourages her husband to have a life outside of her and the kids. jack was up at 10:30pm, 12:30am, 4:30am and then screamed from 6:14am-7am this morning before falling back asleep and waking up at 8:15am.

i'm exhausted.

jeff called me a little bit ago from the train to tell me how great it was to see dan and andrew and to tell me about the dinner they had at mortons (i had flavor blasted goldfish crackers and some of jack's soggy, leftover animal crackers for dinner). i'm glad he had a good time. i'm glad he got to see his friends (one of whom, apparently, reads my blog regularly. hi dan!) but the second he walks in the door tonight, the kids and dog are his. i'm kissing him hello and then heading upstairs to hide out for the rest of the night.

it doesn't seem possible to me that there will ever be a day when jack will be a teenager who wants to sleep all day. i can't wait to wake him up. payback is a bitch.

house update

the roof is shingled and they were starting to put the copper flashing on the dormers today:

ah, seattle

i'm missing seattle terribly this morning. it creeped up on me as i sat curled up on the couch in my flannel pjs and a cup of hot tea. something about cool weather and hot tea or coffee always takes me back to seattle.

i grabbed my laptop and looked up the local papers (seattle times, seattle weekly). it took me back to my first months in wallingford and the long lonely days i spent exploring the neighborhood when i first moved to town and had no friends.

i remember sitting in the starbucks on 45th street with the crossword puzzle and a cup of coffee, just killing time because i had no where to be and no one to be there with. i'm romanticizing it, of course. it seems so delicious and luxurious - the idea of sitting in a coffee shop for as long as i wanted to - because i don't get to do that anymore. but the truth was slightly less shiny. it was lonely and boring a lot of the time.

but still. i miss it. i miss living in the city and the anonymity that came with it. i liked being just one person in a big crowd. i liked not being noticed. i liked being able to observe other people. i liked the freedom. i even came to love the uptight, PC, artys-fartsy vibe in seattle.

i especially miss the public market. not the touristy, crowded market that you see on tv, but the early morning-vendors setting up-quiet market that tourists rarely see. my first christmas eve in seattle (back in 1996) i was lonely and depressed and utterly out of sorts. my roomate's boyfriend offered me a ride down to the market, so i went. he dropped me off and i grabbed a cup of coffee at the original starbucks. it was lightly raining and the piano man (johnny hahn) was playing christmas carols on the corner. i will never forget standing in the rain with my coffee, listening to him. the market was crowded and people were rushing around trying to get last minute errands done while avoiding the rain. but i just stood there and listened. and it was, perhaps, the first time in the lonely months that i had lived there that i felt content.

but that was ten years ago. another decade, another liftetime. i wouldn't trade my kids and husband and friends for anything. but every once in a while, when the weather gets cool and cloudy and i have a good cup of tea, i miss the wide open world and limitless possibilities that seattle represented.

the waiting game begins

we had the first two showings of our (current) house today. the house doesn't officially go on the market until january 12, but yesterday our realtor sent out an email to other agents in her office to let them know our house was going to be coming onto the market and that she could arrange a private showing before then.

we spent the morning cleaning and straightening and scrubbing and cramming. the house looked fantastic but a little foreign. there were no signs of a family living there...no toys on the floor or half empty milk cups on the kitchen table or piles of junk mail on the counter.

one couple really liked our house. they had planned on putting an offer in on another house down the street this morning but wanted to see our house when their realtor showed them the email our agent sent. so they put off making the offer and came to see our house.

our realtor left us a message this afternoon that they really liked the interior of our house more than the other house but they didn't like the yard as much (it's smaller, which, ironically, is what sold us on the house) and they thought the hardwoods were pretty scratched (it's true. i had american cherry floors put down and several months later decided to get a 75 pound dog. did you know that american cherry is one of the softest woods?)

the couple is going to meet with their agent tomorrow and talk about their options. so tonight we sit and wait.

when we got home today i noticed footprints in the carpet; someone had a large foot and wears either hiking boots or work boots. it's strange to think that someone was walking around our house today, opening doors and drawers and peeking into the personal life that we try to shield from the neighbors with curtains and blinds.

i'm trying to remain philosophical about all of this. i remind myself that if the couple chooses our neighbors house (which has been on the market for two months), our neighbors will be very happy. and that sooner or later it will be our turn.

more progress

(what? you thought this was going to a meaningful, thought-provoking post? puh-lease. house, house and more house.)

the dormers go up on the kid's rooms:














view of the garage and kids' playroom over it














kate and jack taking a rest on our newly installed stairs:

dirty little secret

i don't remember jack as a baby.

i realized this yesterday as he was flipping through an old mini-album i made for kate. it had photos of kate as a baby and one or two of jack. i sat with jack as he flipped through the album and pointed out kate ('tate!') and me and jeff. i remembered every photo of kate - i knew how old she was in the photo, why we took the photo and where we were at the time.

and then i saw a photo of jack sitting in my lap and i blanked. i couldn't remember where the photo was taken. or why. or how old he was. looking at him in that photo was like remembering a story someone has told you so often that you begin to think it is your own. i recognized him...i knew him, but i didn't feel like he was mine. he was just a baby sitting on my lap.

i finally realized that the photo was taken at my parents' house (i recognized the couch) but i still don't know why we were at their house (a random trip? thanksgiving?) or how old jack was.

mothers always say they don't have favorites. i'm not sure that's true. i think in every mother's heart there is one child they feel closer to. maybe it's not that they love them more then their other children, but they feel a special bond. i feel that with kate. i remember the first few months of maternity leave when i was bored to tears and would do anything to pass the long days. we danced to music, played in front of the mirror, sat in the sunroom, watched the teletubbies and went on daily trips to target just to get out of the house.

i remember kate as a baby because i had no one else to concentrate on. but jack? poor jack got the shaft. he was always sort of along for the ride. the extra thing i had to remember to bring with me when i left the house. i try to tell myself that it's because the kids are only 21 months apart. i had my hands full, right? but it doesn't make me feel better. and parents don't admit it. they don't admit that the first one is always a little bit more special. that there is a unique bond with the child who made you a parent.

but it's there.

i tell myself that kate made me and jeff parents, but jack made us a family.

and i believe that.

he's finally excited

jeff and the kids went inside the new house for the first time today. jeff is finally excited about the house. he doesn't get excited about abstract things; he needs to see it to believe it (which was a lot of fun when i was pregnant and he wasn't excited about the baby. 'i'll be excited when the baby is born!')

omens

i had a few minutes before picking the kids up at school today so i swung by the new house. because it was raining, no one was working on it so i hopped out of the car and went inside. it was really cool walking through the first floor and thinking about where i was going to put furniture. i was on my way out of the house when i saw the black cat sleeping in the corner of my soon-to-be family room. it woke up and ran off as i walked closer.

what's the saying about bad luck following black cats? :/