i needed a laugh

jeff and i hit a wall today with the new house - it's been two months since we signed the contract and they still haven't officially broken ground (they've dug some more dirt for the foundation, but that's it). the official word from the builder is that we're waiting for the county to issue the permits. it doesn't take two months to get permits for a house in a development that's already been approved. we're the last single family house in our part of the neighborhood and it's getting disheartening to see all the other houses completed and people moving in.

so today i was mad and frustrated and pissed at no one and everyone. so i decided to take photos of the kids which is what i do to let off steam.

i got this one of jack in his pajamas playing with his new winter hat. it made me laugh which i needed to put things into perspective.

what do you do with a cup?

kate had her 4 year check up at the dr. today. she had to read the eye chart and pee in a cup and have her ears examined. after all that, i had to fill out some paperwork that measures where your child is developmentally. the questionaire asks the kids to draw circles, to identify colors and animals and also has the parent ask the child questions. here's how our question and answer session went down:

me: kate, what do you do with a pencil?

kate: draw with it!

me: what do you do with a banana?

kate: eat it!

me: what do you do with a cup?

kate: pee in it!

random thoughts

* talked to a pregnant friend last night who is due in two weeks. she was asking me about going into labor and if she'd know it (she had read my post on kate's birthday about how i didn't know, with either of my kids, that i was in labor). she was nervous and excited and ready but not ready and it reminded me that just 4 years ago i was in the same position: pregnant with my first baby and not knowing what to expect. i remembered what it was like to be on the other side of the fence - of not having any kids yet but being so close. and i was excited for her, knowing what awaited her on the other side once she has her baby. knowing that she was going to cross over into a completely different world that she has no idea exists right now. i can't wait to welcome her to the other side. it's a great place to be.

* the non-profit i'm involved with collected donations of toiletries last night for a local women's shelter and i offered to drop the items off. the kids are home today and i'm debating dropping the items off today and taking them with me or waiting until they are in school tomorrow to do it. my problem is i'm not sure how to explain to kate what the shelter is. i want my kids to know that not everyone lives the same life they and their friends do, but is 4 years old too young? i'm worried that we'll get to the shelter and kate will ask me a question (in front of someone, i'm sure) that i won't know how to answer without a) being too complicated for her to understand or b) simplifying it so much that it comes across as patronizing. i should just take them with me and deal with it as it comes up, right? why do i worry about these things? how do explain homeless women and children to a 4 year old?

* i went to a dinner last night and decided it was a 'special occasion' so i had some bread AND a large piece of chocolate cake (neither of which i'm supposed to eat on my low-glycemic eating plan). my stomach was up in arms last night and i STILL feel sick this morning. ugh.

* i love fall. it's my favorite season of the year.

today

it's a gorgeous day outside: no humidity, light breeze and leaves that are just turning yellow and starting to litter the lawns. the windows are open and the shades are slapping back and forth against the sills and best of all, the kids are down for naps. i'm having a brief taste of peace right now.

it's a beautiful day.

birthday photos

i posted photos from kate's birthday dinner on my other site.

(AND: i ran into a friend this morning at the coffee shop and she asked me if i'd lost weight. it's working! it's working!) :)

just thinking

i was in the coffee shop this morning with the kids (i love the coffee shop by our new house. they have a small play area for kids so i can actually drink coffee and read without having to entertain the kids).

anyway. this morning. the newspaper. i was skimming an article about wealth and poverty in our country and how so many people can't afford health care. i really don't remember what the article was really about, but it got me thinking anyway: why aren't there 'adopt a family' programs? i mean, you can adopt a child in a third world nation and provide money for their health care and schooling, but we don't have things like that in our own country.

this is particularly meaningful to me right now because we're building a new house. i picked out my new kitchen yesterday and was super excited all day about it. i love my new kitchen (and i don't even cook!). but since the day we put our deposit down on the house, jeff and i have struggled with what it means to buy this house. how can we buy this house when so many other people have so little? we vacillate between that and thinking that we've worked hard and we deserve to enjoy our success.

i volunteer for a non-profit and i'm proud of what i do, but it doesn't feel like enough. i want something more personal...more hands on...more tangible. the newspaper article got me thinking that i'd like to be able to adopt a family - to help them buy their medications and groceries and clothes for their kids. to help with the electrical bill or an unexpected hospital bill or car repair. jeff and i are lucky enough to be in a position to help and yet i feel like i don't know how. i know there's an answer somewhere, i just don't know what it is. i'd love to have some sort of online system that could match families. you could adopt a family and see their 'wish list' (sort of like amazon) but instead of books and CDs, it would be their day-to-day necessities. i don't know how to do it. but it's a thought.

i'm going to keep thinking about it.

happy birthday, kitty kat

today is kate's 4th birthday. four years ago, right now, i was at my midwife's office hooked up to a fetal monitor. i'd gone in for an ultrasound because kate was measuring small (we realized later that she had stopped growing). after the ultrasound, i happened to mention to the doctor that i'd been having frequent braxton hicks contractions all day. she noted that i was only 36.5 weeks along and agreed that it was probably nothing, but just in case, she hooked me up to the fetal monitor.

turns out i was in labor. 4 cm dialated and 75% effaced. didn't even know it. you know how they always say when you're in labor you'll know it? not true. i didn't know either time with my kids.

so four years ago today, i was hooked up to the fetal monitor. jeff watched the contractions on the paper and said several times that it looked like i was in labor. i told him he was wrong. he was right.

i went to my in-laws house around 3pm (they live right around the corner from the hospital and we lived 30 minutes away) to wait out some more contractions. around 6pm they started getting heavy so i headed to the hospital. got hooked up with my epidural and at 11:52pm, anna kate goldscher came screaming her head off into the world. all 4 pounds, 14 ounces and 17 inches of her.

and now she's 4. and i'm finding 4 to be a difficult age (i'll take a 2-year-old any day). but she's still my kitty kat. and i love her. and i can't believe she's 4.

haiku

red and yellow leaves
the trees are turning colors
fall is almost here

thursday thirteen

Thirteen Things I Bought at the Mall Today 1. a really cool pair of puma sneakers 2. a pair of jeans for kate 3. a size 4T fleece jacket that doesn't fit either of the kids right now, but was so cheap i bought it to put away for next winter 4. two hair clips 5. a hair band 6. a cheap, fake pearl necklace to wear for fun 7. a black jersey wrap dress that i want to wear every day because it feels like wearing sweats but looks dressed up 8, 9, 10. two chicken nugget happy meals and a grilled chicken salad at chik-fil-a 11. a decaf, fat free, sugar free vanilla latte 12. a sweatshirt for kate 13. a long green scoop neck tshirt that covers my muffin top Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. finding blanche 2. tessa's blog

'twas the night before...

the kids start school tomorrow. i've been dreaming of this day for the past 4 years. i've held onto it during the 2am feedings, the nights of nebulizer treatments, the ear infections, the temper tantrums, the willful disobedience and the long car trips.

and now it's almost here. it feels like christmas eve - the anticipation of tomorrow is going to make it hard to sleep tonight.

the only kicker is that the first week back to school is a warm up: they only go for an hour tomorrow, an hour on wednesday and and two hours on friday. NEXT week they go to school for real. but even that can't dampen my joy.

tomorrow morning i will get my kids dressed, put their backpacks on and drive them to school. i have stay there for that hour so it's not freedom yet, but it's the start. it's close. i can taste it.

sleep study

i have to go in for a sleep study tonight. a few weeks ago when i went to see my doctor about my high cholesterol, she asked me some general health questions. somewhere in the conversation she hit upon the fact that i'm always tired and as she started asking me more questions (and i kept answering yes, yes, yes), she told me she wanted me to go in for a sleep study. she thinks i might have PLMS - period leg movement syndrome. you know, one of those fake diseases that drug companies invent so that they can sell medicine to cure it? yep, that.

so i have to head into baltimore tonight at 9pm (NINE pm?? i'm usually in bed by 8:30). i get to sleep in a 'hotel-like suite' with monitors taped to my head and body and legs and then i get to leave by 6am tomorrow morning. the worst part is that i can't take a nap today. i'm so tired and all i want to do is lie down on the couch while the kids are napping but i can't.

i haven't been nervous since i scheduled it two weeks ago but today, as the time gets closer to actually having to do it, i'm getting butterflies in my stomach. i know they're not going to find anything wrong with me...i've always been a sleeper and have always been tired. my whole life. it's just the way i'm wired.

sigh.

sweet!

i met some of the women who are going to be my new neighbors! i had to drop off a check today at the builder's office and decided since it was a nice afternoon, i'd take the kids to the playground. we've been to the playground before, but usually in the morning and we've always been the only ones there.

but today.

oh, today.

i drove up to the playground and there were 5 or 6 moms with tons of little kids running around. i was a) glad to see so many little kids and b) nervous about being the new mom on the block and figured no one would talk to me.

enter marty.

she came right up to me and introduced herself and asked if i lived in the neighborhood. i told her we were building our house and were moving in the spring. she laughed and said she did the same thing when she was building her house - she'd come to the playground with her kids hoping to meet other moms.

so she introduced me to the other moms and it turns out that one of them will live on on our street (she moves in next month) and will live two houses away from us AND her son goes to the same preschool as kate and jack (carpoool!). marty was so, so nice. her son is a month younger than kate and she actually had on a tshirt that i have - it says 'i'm too sexy for my minivan.' how could i not like her?? plus, she loves all the same junky reality tv shows i love :)

so it was wonderful. met some moms, kate and jack met some other little kids and i am more excited than before (if that's possible) to move into the new neighborhood. my in-laws moved into their neighborhood 30 years ago when it was first built and some of their best friends to this day are friends they met when the all moved into the neighborhood. everyone was new, so everyone went out of their way to meet each other.

i think that's what maple lawn is going to be like.
i hope!

thursday thirteen

Thirteen Things I Wish I could Eat Today 1. eggs 2. bread 3. milk 4. pepperidge farm milano cookies 5. cheese 6. ketchup 7. mayonnaise 8. pizza 9. onion rings 10. a milkshake 11. ben and jerry's mint chocolate cookie ice cream 12. sushi 13. crystal light fruit punch Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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welcome, dan

my little brother started a blog this week. it's amusing because he's a techno-phobe. doesn't like computers, or techy gadgets and doesn't care that apple is coming out with downloadable movies next week. my older brother, my dad and i are all computer/tech geeks in one form or another. i guess dan figured when my mom (a former techno-phobe who has, in the past few years, come around quite nicely) knew more about computers and internet emoticons than he did that it was time for him to jump in.

so now i have a blog, my older brother has a blog and my little brother has a blog. it's nice because we live in three different states (MD, NC and OH) and don't get to see each other that often. it's a cool way to keep up on the ordinary details of each other's lives...the stuff that doesn't make it into phone calls. i like knowing what my niece and nephew did over labor day weekend and being able to see dan's new-to-him truck.

now if i could just get my mom to start a blog...

funny shirt

saw my friend, wendy, at the gym yesterday morning.

she had on a tank top that read 'schvitz'.

it made me laugh. got to find me one of those.

detox sucks

this week, week one of the 'dare to lose' plan, is called detox.

i hate it.

i had to go to the grocery store last night to pick up baby wipes. it's never a good idea to go the grocery store when you're hungry, never mind when you're forced to eat only vegetables for a week. i walked slowly down the ice cream aisle looking longingly at my old friends, ben and jerry. i made my way over to the deli to fondle my favorite cheeses (hello muenster! looking good, provolone).

sigh.

the woman who runs the program said that after day three, it won't be as hard. day three is tomorrow. she'd better be right. i'm ready to gnaw my arm off.

dare to lose

i signed up for this weight loss program at the gym called 'dare to lose'. it's about learning to make better choices in food and exercise. i figured since my doctor told me to lose 20 lbs that i'd give it a shot. it starts on tuesday and i just got the shopping list for the first week from the instructor. apparently the first week is a 'detox' week; the good news is that there is a list of foods that i can eat the first week - and i can eat as much of them as i want. the bad news is these are the foods:

alfalfa, artichokes, argula, asparagus, bean sprouts, beets, bell pepper, bok choy, broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, celebery, collard greens, cucumber, eggplant, green beans, hot peppers, jimcama, kale, leeks, lettuce, okra, olives, onions, parsley, radishes, sauerkraut, snow peas, spinach, tomato juice, tomato paste (only 2 tbps!), tomato sauce, water chestnuts, watercress, yellow squash and zucchini.

seriously? i'm supposed to eat that for a week? there is another list of fruits i'm allowed to have (but only 3 servings per day) and also a list of sample menus. want to read one of them?

pre-breakfast
lemon juice in warm water

breakfast
canteloupe
herbal tea

snack
banana
detox or herbal tea

lunch
vegetable juice
veggie burger
cucumber salad
carrot sticks
apple
detox or herbal tea

snack
green beans
detox or herbal tea

dinner
vegetable soup
mixed greens salad with mushrooms, asparagus, tomato and beets
strawberry and blueberry medley
herbal tea

snack
fresh cucumber, red and yellow peppers
detox or herbal tea

i have way too many comments to post them all here, but let me just say: pre-breakfast? riiiiiight. green beens are not a snack unless they are accompanied by a bowl of ice cream. strawberry and blueberry medley? if there isn't any whipped cream then it's just some fruit in a bowl.

what have i gotten myself into?
if you know me and see me around town the next week and a half, you probably don't want to talk to me because i think i'm going to be super cranky.