getting dressed

kate gets herself dressed pretty often these days. for the most part, her wardrobe is pretty basic so everything goes with everything else.

but today.

she came downstairs as we were getting ready to go out to run errands and she had this on:





















she was so proud of herself.

kate: mommy! do you like my outfit?

me: um, well....um, do YOU like your outfit?

kate: i love it! i look so pretty! i'm going to wear my pink sneakers, too!

i'm going to save this photo until she's 12 and only wants to wear what all her friends are wearing.

SEATTLE

jeff just booked four plane tickets to seattle in august (and since we are using amex points, we booked first class!). we haven't been back to visit since we moved in 2001 and i am beyond excited about going back. it will be totally different since we're going to see it with the kids, but both of us wanted to bring them. kate and jack won't care about seeing seeing elliott bay from the viaduct as we drive in from the airport. they won't care about seeing the first condo jeff and i lived in or walking around pike place market. they'll be bored out of their minds when we poke around the funky shops in fremont and they won't have the same warm rush of nostalgia when we take the ferry to bainbridge island. but jeff and i will and we can't wait to go back to the place it all started with the kids who made us a family.

b-a-l-t-i-m-o-r-e

jack was wearing his nantucket sweatshirt today and at one point he looked down and read off the letters:

jack: n-a-n-t-u-c-k-e-t

i got all proud motherish thinking how smart my not-quite-three-and-a-half-year-old-son was, what with reading all the letters and UPSIDE DOWN NO LESS.

me (beaming with pride): that's right! what do those letters spell?

jack (proudly): baltimore!

proud mommy was promptly deflated.

musings

i feel guilty a lot. guilty that i have two healthy children. guilty that i have a great relationship with my husband. guilty that i have a new house with new furniture and no debt hanging over my head. guilty that my life is so fantastic.

i know.

i KNOW.

it's ridiculous. i should be thankful. and i AM. very much so. but i also have this nagging, creeping guilt because i didn't do anything to deserve any of this. nothing. nada. i'd like to think that the years i spent volunteering and working for non-profits paved the way for this good karma but really, i know that's not true. because just like bad things happen for no reason, so do good things. it's just that i have a much easier time accepting the bad things. i don't know why. blame it on my parents for teaching me that if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. for teaching me that good things come as a result of hard work. that nothing good comes easy. valuable lessons, yes. lessons i hope to teach my own kids, in fact. but lessons that leave me wondering why the hell i've been so lucky in my life and when the other shoe is going to drop.

kind of depressing, isn't it?

better you than me

so I've mentioned that I'm chairing a fundraiser for a non-profit I'm involved with. The local hospital is our partner in the fundraiser; we take turns staffing the booth and we split the profits when its all over.

Its supposed to sleeet and snow on Saturday and all I can think is that I am SO glad its the hospital's day to run the booth. The last thing I want to deal with is 47 phone calls from all our volunteers saying they can't make their shifts. No, instead I'll be outside with my kids and neighbors sledding and building snowmen.

It will be a much needed break :)

finally

for the first time in weeks i feel like i can breathe again. my conversion is done, my tubes are tied (did i tell you about that? i had this procedure done), my photography holiday rush is over and even gift wrap is (knock on wood) running smoothly.

i actually have time to eat and shower and i can't wait for the kids to get home from school so we can spend some time together (i've been pawning them off on 'barbie as the island princess' and 'high school musical').

i had time today to run errands not associated with gift wrap or photography, i picked up a few new home decorating magazines and i actually sat down with those magazines and drank a cup of hot chocolate in front of my fake fire. i almost felt guilty :)

jack'isms

this morning: jack was getting dressed and was having a hard time getting his sweatshirt on. he couldn't get his arms in the sleeves and as he threw the sweatshirt on the floor he said, 'mommy! the sleeves aren't PAYING ATTENTION!'

this afternoon: i dragged the poor kid all over creation this morning running errands. as a reward, i took him to red robin for lunch. it was packed and we were squeezed in between two other tables with barely enough room to stand between the tables. the woman next to us was wearing a head scarf and jack pointed to it and said (very loudly), 'mommy - that lady is a pirate!' either the woman didn't hear us or she very politely ignored us.

jack.

sigh.

#(%*#$&

you know what really pisses me off? people who critize the way you do a job that they themselves don't want to do. if you don't want to do the job, then shut the F up and let me do it my way.

@#)*#$%(#$%(*!