HAIRCUT

kate got her haircut a few days ago. for as long as i can remember (or at least as long as she's been old enough to have an opinion), she has wanted long hair. so we let it grow.

but last week, she mentioned that she wished she had short hair like mine. she wanted to get it cut. i said sure and we went to the local hair cuttery the next day.

i surprised myself by getting emotional when she got into the chair. i wasn't (and am not) the mom who saved her kids' hair from their first haircut or got weepy when kate and jack reached other milestones. most of the time i was overjoyed that they were getting more independent. but the haircut? it got me. i got weepy. i didn't know why, at first. kate has had her hair trimmed before. but i realize now it was because she made the decision herself. she wanted to cut her hair. for whatever reason, she was tired of long hair and wanted a change. and THAT'S what got me. she's separate from me. really and truly. for so long (it seemed, at least), kate was part of me. first in my belly and then as an infant. i was ready for the physical dependence to go away but i wasn't quite prepared for the emotional independence. when did she start having opinions about her hair? what comes next? i know it sounds insane but it feels like this haircut is the first step towards her moving out of the house and moving on with her life. and i'm surprised that it makes me sad.