Thursday, January 26, 2006

what would you do...

...if you could not fail? have you ever heard that before? i have. always thought it was slightly cheesy. i'm not one for INSPIRATION. don't like those posters that say 'Success' or Perseverance' and have dramatic photographs of sunrises. but this one - "what would you do if you could not fail?" has been in my thoughts lately.

i know what i would do. i would be a photographer. i love photography. i've loved it since i took my first photography class in 7th grade. i've loved it since the first time i loaded a film canister in the dark (so much harder than it sounds. this is why i love digital cameras). i've loved it since the first time i put a blank piece of paper in the developer and saw a picture emerge. from a blank piece of paper. it was thrilling.

but like everything else in life, passions get pushed aside. kids, a dog, a family...they all compete for my time and photography is just a hobby to keep me from going crazy on those long winter days when it is too cold or too windy/rainy/snowy to take the kids outside.

but the biggest reason i'm afraid to do it is because i'm afraid that i won't love it anymore. i'm afraid that the business of photography will take away the joy. this happened with my design work. i loved designing invites and cards (and the occasional website) for friends. but as it became a business, it became a major source of stress in my life. instead of friends, i had clients. instead of taking my time i had deadlines. and i slowly stopped doing it. i stopped taking on new jobs, stopped advertising my products and stopped telling people that i designed.

so maybe the question isn't what would i do if i could not fail, but what would i do if i would always have a passion for it.

4 comments:

Wendy said...

This is so sad. I'm sorry I made you do my website. :(

What if you took your photos, displayed them (gallery? restaurants?) and sold them. Online, offline, to consumers, to decorators. What you love, not what someone tells you to shoot. Then no one can tell you what to do and you can still have your passion.

(I'd buy one - I love your work)

kristin said...

omg - wendy, no! you didn't MAKE me do your website. i WANTED to do your website. i've learned so much doing your site. yikes - please don't take it that way. you have been so patient and encouraging and awesome to work with.

(i guess i should be more careful about what i post when clients are reading?) ;)

Wendy said...

I was kidding! I do understand what you are talking about - it happens to me too...something really wonderful is tainted when you have to do it!

steakbellie said...

i have the same sentimate about illustration & painting. I ruined a perfectly good hobby by making a living at it....