five years ago

today marks five years since the 6.8 earthquake in seattle. i was living in seattle at the time and that earthquake was one of the reasons jeff and i moved back east (not the only reason, but one of many. the ground doesn't move so much on the east coast.)

i was at work that day, but not in our office. we were having an off-site meeting at safeco field - the baseball stadium. they rented out suites and rooms in the off season. it was supposed to be three days of meetings, figuring out how to create a professional services department at the web company i worked out.

i remember zoning out at one point when a train went by the stadium. the building rumbled a little bit and i remember thinking (in fact, i will never forget), "i think that's how i would describe an earthquake to someone who has never been in one. it feels like a train rumbling by." i had been through a few small quakes in the 5 years i lived in seattle - all minor. they were exciting and i liked telling my family and friends back east that yeah, i'd been through a few earthquakes and they were no big deal.

but this earthquake was different. the director of our department was droning on about the RUP process when the floor started swaying. when an earthquake strikes, there is always a second or two of complete silence before everyone realizes what is happening and starts yelling. all of us in the room were silent and then people started diving under tables and ducking under doorways.

most of the earthquakes i'd been in lasted no more than a few seconds. a little shaking and it was over. not this one. official reports say it lasted 45 seconds but it felt like minutes.

years.

an eternity.

and then it was over and my co-workers and i rushed, dazed and scared, out of the stadium into the parking lot where we stood among every other dazed and scared person in seattle.

i hopped on a bus to go home but a half an hour later when the bus still hadn't moved, i got off and walked the three miles home. i remember calling my mom on my cell phone. she didn't know there had been an earthquake so when i told her i was fine and not to worry, she immediately panicked.

when i got home, i thought our hillside condo had escaped unscathed. until i walked into the guest bedroom and saw the water from the hot water heater that had fallen over. later that night, jeff and i walked around the condo looking at cracks in the walls and putting our belongings back on shelves. we found the cats a few hours later jammed - literally wedged- under our bed which we thought was so packed with quilts and old frames and boxes of junk that they wouldn't be able to fit under there.

it took us weeks to get over the earthquake. we talked about it constantly: where we were, what we were doing when it struck, what we did after it was over...we still talk about it, but not as a way to chase our fears away.

we laugh that jeff, who was surgically attached to his cell phone, forgot to bring it to work that day of all days.

we laugh about bringing the onsite maintenance guy a few 6 packs of beer when we told him about our water damage (bribe. kind gesture. call it what you will. it's all the same when you've got water in your house).

we laugh about the $1500 assessment the condo board levied for roof damage that we didn't know about when we sold our condo (we were supposed to read the minutes from the meeting? puh-lease. who does that?) and the legal action the woman who bought our condo threatened us with when she found out about it (seriously - it was an honest mistake. we had no clue about the assessment. and shouldn't her realtor have known about that anyway?)

but mostly we heave a sigh of relief that we don't have to worry about earthquakes any more.



(this picture was taken from one of the suites we were in. this was our view when the earthquake struck. i will never, ever forget that yellow foul ball pole swaying from side to side looking like it was going to touch the ground and break in two.)

presentation

i was in kohl's today - not by choice, but because i was killing time. i figured as long as i was there, i'd see if they had any white polo shirts for jack (for a wedding rehearsal dinner we have coming up).

my sister-in-law loves kohls. i've been a few times and always left with nothing (and always left feeling exhausted). so i decided to try it out again today and now i know why i hate it.

it's a MESS.

the aisles are narrow and crowded. there are clothes lying (laying? i can never remember which is right) in the aisles. the clothes that are hanging up are just thrown wherever so that you have 12 month shirts right next to 3T shorts. it's a completely overwhelming and frustrating experience.

i would much (MUCH) rather spend 4 times the price for a shirt at nordstrom where i know i can walk in, go directly to the rack i need and get exactly what i want. and if i can't find what i need, i know there is always a salesperson available to help me.

last week, jeff risley posted on his blog about brand loyalty. i'd have to say that nordstrom is the brand i am most loyal to. kohl's could learn a thing or two from them.

and yet another cool action

a night to remember

we went to joe's crab shack last night for jeff's youngest brother's birthday. i hadn't eaten all day and then i slammed down two vodka tonics in about, oh, 10 minutes. not a good idea. jeff took this picture with my phone to document the night.

more photoshop

i found another photoshop action called 'acid' that makes your photos look like a high fashion photograph. it's so cool. check out this picture of kate i used the action on:



(discovering all these retouching tools has made me feel so much better about myself. all those models who look gorgeous in the magazines? it's all photoshop!)

kate eating spaghettios

shake it like a polaroid picture...

i found a photoshop action that makes your photos look like they are polaroids. very cool. i've been playing with it all afternoon. found another action that splits your photo into three pieces. very, very cool.

another one for the baby book

i really (really) have to start watching my mouth.

jack accidently shut the door to the basement and couldn't get back down to me and kate. he was crying and screaming in the hallway upstairs because he wanted to come down but couldn't get the door open.

kate sighed and yelled up to him "jack! just open the fucking door!"

yikes.

my little guy

(some pictures i took of jack yesterday. )

is this real?

if this is real, then it's not the guy whose sanity i'm questioning but the woman who saw it and STILL married him.

holy moly.

marriage contract

my new mantra

i don't have to like it, i just have to do it

it's my new mantra.

i was in bed watching wife swap last night (guilty pleasure) when i started thinking about working out today and how i didn't want to do it and about how much i hate doing cardio. out of nowhere, the thought popped into my head "i don't have to like it, i just have to do it".

it's simple, really. it's not a new idea but it was the right idea at the right time for me. when did i get it in my head that i was supposed to love doing everything i'm supposed to do? when did i get so lazy that i decided if i didn't like something, i simply wouldn't do it? it disgusts me to think about it.

i don't like doing laundry? i just won't do it.

i don't like emptying the dishwasher? i just won't do it.

hate making beds? don't do it.

ick.

thanks to jenne for the inspiration. she posted a comment on my blog last week, in response to my post about laundry, that she says to herself "I'm a woman who finishes what she starts I'm a woman who finishes what she starts I'm a woman ..."

that wasn't the mantra for me, but it opened me up to finding my own.

my new ipod playlist

i've been working out with a personal trainer for a little over a year and a half. he's been telling me the entire time i've known him that i need to start doing more cardio. i love lifting weights but i despise doing cardio (at least in a gym. i can go run around a playground with my kids or play soccer, but walking or running on a treadmill bores me to death). so i've avoided cardio until now: i ordered a dress for an upcoming wedding and it's just a leeeetle too tight. i could probably get away with wearing some spanx but i really want to take this opportunity to kick up my fitness level instead.

so. i'm going to the gym today to walk and/or run on the treadmill (the bonus is that my kids love the gym nursery so it gives them something to do, too).

to get motivated, i made a new playlist on my ipod. i'm PUMPED up just listening to it in my kitchen. i might be able to do this. here's what's playing:

st. theresa - joan osborne
heads carolina, tails california - jo dee messina
hey ya! - outkast
minority - green day
sk8r boi - averil lavigne
whenever, wherever - shakira
livin' la vida loca - ricky martin
sweet child o' mine - guns n roses
somebody told me - the killers
it takes two - rob base and dj e-z rock
american idiot - green day
barbie girl - aqua
let the music play - shannon
video killed the radio star - the buggles
bye bye - jo dee messina
let me be the one - sa fire
it's the end of the world - r.e.m.
baby got back - sir mix-a-lot

when does it end?

i took kate to see curious george today. it was so much fun...just the girls, some popcorn and a curious little monkey (aside: they must have used jack as the model for curious george. the expressions, the antics, the totally loveable but incredibly frustrating little ball of energy...totally and completely jack.)

so me and kate. it was fun. i love that she's old enough to do things together like this. she's really attached to me right now...she wants me to put her to bed, to help her brush her teeth, play in the basement with her, and so on and so on. i just read her a bedtime story (cinderella, of course) and when i was leaving her room i realized that this love affair is going to end. in a few years she is going to think my hair is too curly, my makeup is too bland, my clothes are hopelessly out of date and will be horrified that i wear clogs. she will think i don't know anything about popular culture or music and that i don't understand what it's like to be made fun at school or to not fit in because you don't have the right clothes/hair/purse/shoes. (but kate, i understand. trust me, i understand. some day i'll tell you all about my middle school years and the lunches i spent sitting by myself).

so as much as i'm enjoying her attachment to me, it saddens me to know that it will end. that it has to end in order for her to grow up. i just hope she comes back around as she gets older like i did with my mom.

exploding whale

i want to know what they were smoking when they came up with this plan.

exploding whale video

new tshirt

got a new tshirt today from a friend (thanks wendy!). i laughed out loud when i read it, not just because i think it's funny but because wendy knew i'd think it was funny. and i don't think many people would (which is precisely why i love it).

the shirt says:

i'm a fucking mommyblogger.
(bite me.)

jeff promised to take a picture of me in it so i could post it. i might wear it to take kate to preschool tomorrow.

laundry

for as long as i can remember, i've had a problem putting laundry away. even as a kid, my room was littered with not just dirty clothes, but clean clothes as well. that drove my parents crazy - absolutely crazy. i never really thought about it...i just always assumed i was a slob.

but you know what i realized this morning? (call it an epiphany) it's not that i'm lazy or a slob. it's that laundry overwhelms me (ok, you argue, lots of people are overwhelmed by laundry. but wait. i'll explain).

see, it's not that i don't like putting it away, it's that i don't know where to start. if i have a basket of clean white laundry, it's not just a basket of whites. it's socks, it's tshirts to work out in, it's tshirts to sleep in, it's sport bras and it's underpants. too many different things that all go in different drawers or dressers in different parts of my room. it's completely overwhelming to me and i can't figure out where to start. i look at this jumble of clothes and my mind literally goes blank. i can't even get started.

sounds crazy, doesn't it? my mom was diagnosed with adult ADD and she is convinced that i have it, too. she may be right. so i'd like to think that this is just an ADD thing. I have the same problem emptying the dishwasher. it's not just plates and dishes and silverware. it's coffee cups and drinking cups and sippy cups. it's dinner plates, plastic kid plates, and snack plates. it's steak knives, butter knives, plastic kid forks, salad forks and dinner forks. and then there's all the random tupperware thrown in wherever it fits. and the lids. oh, the lids. they kill me.

but this morning as i stared at three laundry baskets full of clean laundry in my bedroom, i had a thought. what if i got more laundry baskets and instead of sorting dirty laundry by whites and darks, i sorted it by what it is and where it goes? so i'd have a basket for white socks and one for black socks. i'd have a basket for just jeans and a basket for just workout clothes. and so and so on. i'd have lots of laundry baskets but at least i'd be able to put clothes away.

it's worth a shot. i think i'm heading to target today to pick up some more laundry baskets. wish me luck.

for sale by owner

1 ninteen-month-old male child. clingy, whiny, teething and snotty. very cute. hate to get rid of, but owner would like to sleep past 5:30 am.

my new favorite thing

i bought one of these hoodies at nordstrom last week. it's pretty ugly, but it's so yummy and soft that i've been wearing it for three days straight. i only take it off to shower.

why dogs are better than cats

maggie won't eat her breakfast until i pet her and play with her and lavish her with love.

ever see a cat so eager for love that they won't eat?

i thought not.

21 inches

from cnn.com:

Heavy snow fell in Maryland overnight, with 21 inches accumulating in Columbia and more than 11 inches at Baltimore-Washington International Airport.

i thought it seemed like more than 8-12".

a girl and her dog

my morning

we woke up to the predicted 8-12" of snow this morning.

i've never owned a dog before so it didn't occur to me that when she got up at 6:30am to go to the bathroom that i would have to actually shovel a spot for her to go.

this dog is quickly losing her charm.

but there's an advantage to getting up that early. no one else is up. and everything is quiet...that quiet that only comes with the snow. it's peaceful and beautiful and, just for a minute, made me forget that i was in my pajamas at 6:30am shoveling snow so the dog could poop.

dream date for the preschool set

jeff's parents took kate and her cousin, paige, to the mall today. they went to build-a-bear, rode the carousel and then had lunch at mcdonalds.

of course, kate had to pick out the single ugliest animal AT build-a-bear: a purple glitter pony. and if a purple glitter pony with furry feet wasn't bad enough, she got this outfit for the horse. again i ask, how is she my child?

peace

we're supposed to get a big snowfall today and tonight. something like 6-10 inches. jeff is in nyc for a bachelor party and they are calling for blizzard conditions. ha. he emailed me to let me know that he'd be home tomorrow even if he had to walk home (knowing i would trapped in the house with two kids and a puppy).

but i'm glad the storm is coming. it forces me to slow down and just enjoy the kids. we put our jackets on over our pajamas this morning and went through the mcdonalds drive-thru to pick up breakfast. i let the kids bring their blankies downstairs (strict blankie rule: they stay in their rooms and are for naps/nighttime only) and sit on the couch to watch 'toy story 2'. we might pop popcorn later or make a fort. it doesn't really matter. i'm just enjoying the respite from my normal busy, rushing around (for what???) life.

let it snow.

designer dogs

our pup, maggie, is a labradoodle. she's a cross of a labrador retreiver and a poodle. we got her because i'd always wanted a dog but didn't want to deal with the shedding (years of owning cats taught me that). my mom, who is most definitely NOT a dog lover, first told me about labradoodles; she saw one at a friend's house and even she was impressed with how sweet the dog was.

so. we got a labradoodle. she wasn't cheap but i think she was worth it. i'm a member of an online group for labradoodle owners and the stories some of them tell about people's reactions to the breed are just amazing. people get downright antagonistic about these new "designer" dogs. saying they're not real breeds and people are idiots to pay that much money for a mutt, etc etc.

i don't understand the hostility. live and let live, right? why does it matter so much to some people what kind of dog i choose to get? c'mon people. here's an article about these so called designer dogs. the implication being that people only buy these dogs as high priced accessories.

puh-LEASE.

what i'm thinking about

jeff and i went to see a concert at the ram's head in annapolis last night. the show was two opening acts and one headliner but we really only went to see the first opening act, teddy geiger. jeff heard him on this new show on cbs, love monkey, and he wanted to see him.

so we went. we had a few drinks and ate some apps and listened to this kid play (and, truly, he's a kid. he's 17.). he was good. i like his sound, i like his voice. i think his songwriting is a little trite but he hasn't really had enough life experience to write about much, you know?

but here's the thing. this kid is 17. and he's playing a concert on a wednesday night. so clearly he isn't in school. i started thinking about his parents and wondering if they supported what he was doing or if they thought he was throwing his life away and railed on him about finishing school (if he hasn't already. i have no idea.). and i started thinking about the kind of parent i want to be. i want to encourage my kids' dreams even if they seem far fetched and out of reach. who am i to say? i want my kids to dream and believe that they really can do anything.

i think back to my childhood. my parents are great, really. but i had two brothers. and my parents were young when they got married (21) and started having kids (at age 22). so i understand now, as an adult and as a parent, why i wasn't allowed to play travel soccer (too much time and money). and why i wasn't allowed to do gymnastics (my mom worried about eating disorders and body image issues down the road). but i still wonder what if? i was a good soccer player. not the best, but good. my junior year in high school, i had a travel soccer coach ask me to try out for his team. my parents wouldn't let me. i understand that now, but i hope that jeff and i have the resources (time, money and energy) to let our kids try whatever they want to try.

but most of all, i hope that as my kids get older i learn to look at what could be instead of focusing on all the reasons something can't happen (which has always been my nature). because whoever did great things by focusing on their limitations and all the reasons they can't achieve their dreams?

here we go again

our decorator came over yesterday to give us ideas on rearranging and decorating the basement (and i use the word 'decorator' loosely; she IS a decorator but we rely on her to help us plan spaces and pick out paint colors. nothing hoity toity.).

anyway, diana came over yesterday and had some fabulous ideas for redoing the basement. right now the basement is finished but is just one big open space. now that we've moved all the kids' toys down there, we need it to function more as a play room and media room than just a storage space for all the stuff we don't know what to do with. the kids are starting to have friends over to play and we'd love to have a space for them to go to instead of tearing up our family room.

so here we go again. i swore last spring, when we finished some major renovations in the house, that i was THROUGH with remodeling and contractors and workmen in my house.

i think i'm a sucker for pain. oy.

my jack-jack

i don't usually crop my photos after i take them. i try to crop the photo as i'm taking the photo. but this photo i took of jack yesterday...i couldn't help but crop it. the rest of his face was a little fuzzy but this one perfect, beautiful, clear blue eye stared back at me.

ballerina in training

kate starts taking a ballet class on thursday. she's taking it with her friend, maddie. how did i give birth to a girlie girl who loves bows, the colors pink and purple and wants to be a ballerina above all else? HOW is that possible?

a joke from aylin

my friend, aylin, who lives in japan, sent me this joke. it made me smile.

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh! Immediately he turned ninety.

snort.

"just a minute..."

yesterday, jeff asked kate to get a blanket from the living room.

kate smiled and said, "just a minute, dumbass."

jeff and i both froze and looked at each other and jeff gave me a knowing glare over his glasses and asked me if i wanted to handle this one (because, truly, i have the potty mouth in the family).

so i sat down with kate and explained that there are some words adults can use and some words that kids can use and that dumbass was only for adults. i told her i'd try not to say it as much (it's my favorite word when i'm driving and dodging dumb drivers) but that i didn't want to hear her say it again.

is it wrong that it makes me laugh a little bit when i hear her little voice in my head?

"just a minute, dumbass."

two of my favorite people

$100,000 per minute

is ANYTHING worth that amount of money? apparently george w. thinks the war in iraq is.

chronic pain

i still have that pinched nerve in my neck. trying to make an appointment with my doctor today because the pain is coloring everything i do all day. i don't know how people with chronic pain don't slit their wrists. i'm a wuss, i guess, because three days of this pain and i'm ready to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head until the pain goes away (which, according to the research i did on the internet, could be weeks or months.)

shoot.
me.
now.

today at the playground

new rules for 2006

my mom emailed these this morning. they're from bill mahrer:

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket — water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

new partner

exciting news in the goldscher household: jeff is getting a business partner. it's a long convoluted story of how he knows this guy but they've worked together for almost 5 years (jeff on the agency side, the new partner on the client side). jeff has always said he'd love to find a way to work with this guy but it never seemed possible. this guy worked at a large company for years and years, but (thankfully) was starting to get restless.

well, wadda ya know, the company is buying a newer, smaller company and there have been layoffs and reassignments all over the place. jeff was initially really nervous about it because he wasn't sure if he'd still have the big client. things have turned out really well. the new partner was offered the same job in another location and he didn't want it so he and jeff are teaming up. it's kismet. fate. i don't know, but it's great. it just feels right.

jeff and the new partner went to meet with another guy yesterday who was interested in buying jeff's company and hiring jeff to work for him but jeff decided that no amount of money was worth giving up his own agency and giving up his (and our family's) freedom.

so he and the new partner are going to meet with jeff's business lawyer and figure it all out (the terms, the equity, etc). it sucks in the short term for us because all the money isn't ours to play with and the new partner certainly earns more than jeff's freelancers. but long term i think it's going to be an amazing thing and is going to grow the agency.

it's pretty exciting.

ouch

i think i pinched a nerve in my neck last night (sleeping? how is that possible?). all i know is i woke up at 4am and couldn't turn over without horrible pain shooting through my neck. and now my arm, all the way down to my hand, is tingling...kind of like when it falls asleep.

this hurts.

bad.

ouch.