friends

yesterday was an awful day. awful, awful, awful. but one nice thing? the two people who i consider my closest friends in my town (i have three best friends who live in other states) were the two people who immediately picked up the phone when they heard what happened and offered whatever help they could. and it wasn't even my mother who passed.

it makes me smile to know they care about me as much as i care about them.

i'm thankful.

WSG and JU - thank you xoxoxoxo

time doesn't stop

a close friend's mother died (unexpectedly) this morning. jeff called me on my cell phone when i was in the car taking the kids to pre-school. a millionth of a second before that call, everything in my life was normal. and a millionth of a second after he said that tessa's mother died, nothing was right. nothing was where it should be. i'm not close to my friend's mother but i know her and see her at birthday parties and at other family functions. i'm sad that she's gone but i'm devastated for my friend. i don't know what to say or what to bring (flowers? food?) or where to go. i went to the ER at the hospital and met them in the consultation room. (consultation room. what a glossed over, benign term for what happens in that room.)

there was nothing i could do. we sat around and talked about everyday things (dave's new playstation 3). i've never been this close to grief, this soon. it was only a few hours after she died and they hadn't left the hospital yet. i thought grief would look different but it doesn't. it looks like life...a part of life just like the birth of your first child or the 80th birthday celebration of your great uncle. life was going on all around us and we just had to go along with it.

time doesn't stop.

a little bird

i was working out with my trainer at the gym yesterday and he told me that he wants me to come to the gym more often to do more cardio.

i stepped out from under the squat bar, looked at him like he was crazy and said, "cyrus, do you know how packed my calendar is? i can barely get to the gym the two days a week we have scheduled let alone come two more days just to do cardio. my schedule is PACKED and i don't have enough time as it is!"

he looked at me and shook his head and said, "you're in charge of your calendar. it's not like some little bird is swooping in and filling it for you."

oy.

his words have been ringing in my head since yesterday morning. he's right. i'm in charge of my calendar. if I'm too busy and overbooked and feeling frantic, it's my own fault. i've been feeling helpless over my schedule...jeff and i tried to make plans to get together with friends and we had to look at january to find some free time. that's crazy.

i'm in charge. and i resolve to make more gaps for free time in my calendar.

three down, one to go

we got back last night from our thanksgiving trip to hilton head, sc. it's always nice to come home, but it was especially nice to come home after 12 hours in the car and then to find out this morning that our house has a basement and two stories framed in. we have one more level and the roof and then we're all framed in. it was so nice to see this morning as i swung by after dropping the kids off at school. the workmen wave to me now and say hello (because i do a slow drive-by almost every day). i'm sure when i drive past they whisper to each other about the crazy gringo in the minivan.

turkey day photos

kate and i took a walk down to the beach this morning, just to the two of us. kate is so much like me...she could walk for hours as long as she was outside. she wanted to touch the dirt and look at the trees and when we got to the beach, she wanted to look for shells and put her hands into the water. she didn't want to leave the beach, just like me. jeff gets bored easily and doesn't like to meander on the beach. but kate? i've got a beach strolling buddy. i love that little girl.

photos here.

happy thanksgiving.

our vacation so far

the weather in hilton head is rainy and about 49 degrees.

!

it's supposed to warm up tomorrow.

we braved the rain and cold this morning and all walked down the beach. photos are here.

we have framing!

they started framing the new house this week. it's unreal how excited i am about a bunch of 2x4's and some floor joists.
random house photos are here.






(they also changed our street address from early morning street to ellington street! whoo hoo! i guess they finally figured out that our front door faces ellington st.)

holiday card

if i thought i could get away with it, i'd use this photo on my holiday card with the caption, "happy fucking holidays!"

mountains out of molehills

i've been dealing with a lot of that lately (as has wendy). but this -THIS- is the grandaddy of them all. judas priest.















(i know you don't understand this. but it makes me feel better just for posting it. wendy, if you're reading this...ARGH!!!!)

thursday thirteen

it's been a while, i know. but here's my thursday thirteen:

Thirteen Things on My To Do List 1. finish the gift wrap planning book 2. make a schedule for my mother-in-law (the kids are staying at her house friday night) 3. pack overnight bags for the kids for friday night 4. start packing myself and the kids for our weeklong trip to the beach that we leave for on sunday 5. wrap christmas gifts for my niece and nephew who we will see at the beach 6. reschedule the photo shoot that was scheduled for this afternoon but can't happen because of the rain 7. figure out how to get all of the charity gift wrap supplies to the correct people before i leave for the beach on sunday 8.download client photos to a backup drive so i can take them with me to the beach and place holiday card photo orders for clients while i'm on vacation 9. judge photographs for a PTSA contest i volunteered for 10. meet with our new home's builder rep to finalize our electrical plan which was due two weeks ago 11. do laundry so i have clothes to pack for me and the kids 12. mail out gift wrap captain packets of info 13. hand out gift wrap flyers at the mall

ppppbbbhhhhhltttt

been a long week. i've got so much on my to do list and i don't think there are enough hours in the days i have left to get it all done. everyone is busy, i know. it's not just me. but i feel my back getting tight and my shoulders are aching and i know the stress has settled in nicely and is making no plans to leave.

the part that kills me is that the thing i'm most stressed out about is a volunteer position. the person in charge of the organization is working her ass off and is way more strung out then i am (sorry you-know-who!) and i can't believe that i'm letting a volunteer commitment get in the way of my business and time with my family. it's ridiculous and i'm mad at myself for not saying no when i knew it would be a stretch and for not being more on top of things. i hate not having a handle on my projects and i hate that my inability to juggle my responsibilities has an impact on someone else (who has way more responsibilities and commitments than i do).

it's been a sucky day. but tomorrow i get to wake up with my husband and my two healthy kids and i get to try to tackle another day.

sigh.

my little brother

my little brother (who is not so little - he's turning 31 in a few weeks) is a band director in ohio. he's great at his job and this article proves it. congrats, danny boy!

band article

oh fer cute

a photo of my niece and nephew on halloween

sleeping beauty and dash

decaf

i forgot to ask for decaf coffee this morning at starucks and my insides are racing around at 85mph. i hate this feeling.

overheard

(kate and jack have been upstairs playing for the past half hour. i hear them tromping around in the bathroom and then kate yelled downstairs)

kate: daddy!

jeff: what?

kate: i need you!

jeff: why?

kate: well, i'm helping jack on the potty and we can't figure out how to make his penis go down.

she meant, of course, that she couldn't make squish it between his legs to make it point down but jeff and i were hysterical, nonetheless.

framing

got an email from the builder's sales rep that says they will start framing our house at the end of this week/beginning of next week.

holy crap - we're actually going to have a house! :D :D :D

random thoughts

GO VOTE TODAY!!!!!!!!!

1. i talked to the insurance claims guys last night. he said my necklace and wedding band *are* covered under our homeowner's policy, but it turns out our deductible is only a few hundred less than the value of the two items so it doesn't make sense for us to file a claim for it.

2. i called the jewelry store in seattle where we bought my wedding band; turns out they still had a record of the purchase and are going to order the exact same ring for me. i was so excited! the ring isn't fancy or expensive, but i love it and am so happy that i'm getting the exact same ring again.

3. jeff is flushing all day today. "flushing" is a political term (apparently) that means he is going around to low voter turnout areas and knocking on doors and asking people to go vote. he's doing that from about 7:30am until 7:30pm tonight (!!!!). our good friend, ken ulman, is running for county executive and jeff agreed to help him out. it's supposed to rain later today >:-)

4.jack was up last night with a cold - coughing and hacking and wheezing - and neither jeff nor i got any sleep. that kid is sick more often than just about any kid i know (except for my niece, haley, who is sick a lot, too. maybe it's a goldscher family trait?)

5. VOTE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loser

my entire life i have lost things. purses, keys, shoes, you name it. it's something of a joke in my family (at least to my parents). i'm not sure why i lose things; it's not like i don't value the items. i just get distracted (easily) and have a short attention span.

so, until now the things i have lost have been nothing more than an inconvenience (getting a new driver's license, a social security card, wallet, etc). but last weekend i lost a big thing. or three things, actually: my wedding band, a three-stone diamond ring (not my engagement ring) and a diamond pendant necklace.

yep.

all three.

jeff and i went away for the weekend last week and i left all three items on the nightstand next to the bed. i distinctly remember coming back from my massage (where the masseuse even commented on how pretty my three-stone ring was) and taking all the jewelry off to take a nap.

and then i left it there.

the good news/bad news is that the big ring had its own insurance policy so it's covered. the diamond pendant and the wedding band did not have their own insurance policies and because i lost them outside of our house, they are not covered on our homeowner's policy.

i'm distraught. my wedding band was not expensive but it was my.wedding.band. and the necklace? it was the first piece of real jewelry that i bought myself. it should have had it's own policy but for some reason we never got around to it.

i may never wear jewelry again for fear of losing it.
:(

in the new bathroom

i'm going to frame this photo and put it in the powder room in our new house. i'm going to put it directly across from the toilet - at eye level - so when our guests sit down to go to the bathroom, this will be staring back at them: