vanity

i've become obsessed with anti aging products lately, specifically for my eyes. i realized that the reason i look so old and tired these days isn't the wrinkle between my eyebrows or the fine lines around my lips. it's the huge bags under my eyes (i know, i know. how could i not know? i just got used to seeing them there. they snuck up on me.)

so i now have a pot of creme da le mere and a little bottle of DDF wrinkle relax on my bathroom sink. when i ordered the creme de le mere, neiman marcus sent me free samples of a bunch of other anti aging products. i'm obsessed with them.

obsessed.

i like to think i'm not a vain person. i like looking nice. i like wearing nice clothes. i get my hair highlighted faithfully every 8 weeks and i'm a semi-regular pedicure client at my nail salon. but i also very often wear ratty sweatshirts and stained jeans. today i'm wearing the same sweatshirt i slept in last night. for the most part, i'm comfortable enough with myself to wear what i feel like wearing without worrying about what other people think.

but these bags. i want them gone. now. no one mistakes me for the kids' nanny anymore (that actually happened to me when kate was about 6 weeks old. this woman in an antique store was taken aback when i mentioned kate's birth. she thought i was the babysitter).

i want men to look at me when i'm in the mall, pushing two small children in the stroller, and wonder how my husband got so lucky to have such a young looking wife. i want to pick my daughter up at a birthday party and have someone i've never met before ask me if i'm kate's nanny. i want people to look at me and think i look way too young to have a three and a half year old and 20 month old.

i know it doesn't matter what these people think. but i want to look young again. can liposuction, botox and a facelift be that far behind?